A Tension of Wills

Would I be content to live a life that does not at all meet my own expectations if in doing so I follow the will of God for my life?

Whatsmore, would I not only be content, but would I be joyful and fulfilled to live a life which, by my OWN expectations for myself would be mediocre, if in doing so I follow the will of God for my life?

Would I be joyful to live far away from my family?
Would I be joyful to never fall in love?
Would I be joyful to never work in a field where I feel that I am "making a difference"?
Would I be joyful to never speak in different tongues, to interact with different peoples and cultures?
Would I be joyful in living in the suburbs, far away from the urban life?
Would I be joyful in always being severely limited by money (for example, unable to see family for lack of funds)?
Would I be joyful to be far away from the beauty of nature?

I say I want to follow the will of the Lord, but would I really? Would I really, if it conflicted with my own? I live in the tension somewhere between knowing that God created me to be a certain way, with a certain set of passions and gifts which I feel would be going to waste if not used for the Kingdom, and between knowing that if I am to live out what I believe I must be willing to drop my own desires at a whim. God gave me these desires, but I must be willing to act on them within a will greater than my own, the will of God. As I am looking at my future, my desire to "make a difference," to study, to live in Denver because it offers me family, city, nature, and my bike...my desire to feel like I--emphasis on the I--am doing something "worthwhile," I cannot help but wonder what I will do if these "plans" of mine do not pan out, for whatever reason. I have always thought I have felt a relatively strong sense of direction and peace in my life regarding where I should go or what I should do. I feel that now as I am beginning the process of looking at seminary for next year. But if that changes...I cannot help but wonder what I will do. Will I put my actions where my words are and follow the will of God joyfully and obediently, stubborn and sassy little thing that I am? Or will I stumble in my imperfection and resist with my whole being a will that is not my own?

Or, can I become a spiritual being so in love with my Creator that my will and God's will are one in the same?

The beauty lies in the tension.